I seriously need to start writing in this again.

So, I guess the first thing on the agenda is to do a life update. And, with some luck, no one will read this because I’ve been inactive for so long. :]

I can’t even remember if I said anything about being accepted into paramedic school or not. Nevertheless, here I am two months away from graduating the didactic portion. I can hardly believe it has gone by so fast. You couldn’t pay me enough to go through it again, though. It literally has been the most trying thing educationally that I have ever done. Para-medicine is a combination of so many things. I’ve learned how to deal with people. On a whole. And that is something I never thought I could do.

I also recently got accepted into SFSU! Man, I never thought I’d get accepted in to a real four-year. Ask anyone from my high school years, and they would agree with my shock. I never thought I’d be on my way to a Bachelor’s Degree.

I guess I never thought I could do much, lol. I have way more self-esteem now.

And…I think I remember posting about being engaged in one of the past two or three posts on here. I have now been engaged over a YEAR now. Now that’s a real kicker. I couldn’t be happier. Meredith is just…wonderful. Her parents have been great, and my parents have been great. They actually met for the first time in October and it went surprisingly well.

Also! We have two new dogs. Or rats. Whatever your opinion is on Chihuahuas. I actually hated them myself. Never wanted near a small dog until a few months ago.
We were at the pound looking in the shrill-abnormally-small dog section, when this UGLY hyper little dude kept slamming his muscle-cheeked face into the bars. We took him outside, and I instantly fell in love. He’s basically everything a normal Chihuahua isn’t. He doesn’t shake, he doesn’t have a high-pitched bark, and he’s pretty horrific in the face. But he is super cuddly. Because we ended up loving him so much, a month later we adopted another, more annoying, but severely cute chihuahua.

Anyway. I think that’s it for now.
Hopefully I’ll remember this is here more often.

Pretend this post isn’t completely disjointed and full of poorly placed commas.
Thanks :],
Oli

tasteful, don’t you think?
Her hollowing out
just like that

snap, snap, snap
people these days
they just don’t fucking understand a thing

“it’s simple, really”
she whispers to you
and in return you whisper to me

but i don’t hear it
most people don’t hear you, you know.

Wanna go out?
just like that
clack, clack, clack

that’s when it happens

can’t be that hard, she says
don’t know if she can, she says
when are we going, she says
not with you, she says
i only wish i knew how, she says

Symbiosis

So you know that feeling you get right before you
you
that feeling you get
that feeling…

(I fucking wish I knew how to use words.)

It’s like saying yes to something you’ve already accepted
that’s what it’s like
but the yes is more of a question

“Yes?”

in a sense amused
and at the same time wishing you could change your answer

that sounds pretty damn good.
whatever that means.

miraculously–then

wake up
trees everywhere
spilling sap and
cracking with the effort

c’mon, make me laugh
squish my fingers in it
make my face all sticky
i’ll pretend to drown in a stream

over and over
until all the sticky is gone
and i’m half choking on water from giggling

(you’ll do it)

then
i’m strung out on dirty grass
it’s stuck all over my body
skin leeching the green right out

i’m a goddamn leprechaun
and my pockets are full of clovers
and tiny men from board games

(i’m why the pieces
are always missing)

they fall out when i roll down the hill
disappear in the blades
i meant to put them back, i swear

i’m tired, suddenly.

and you kiss my sweaty forehead
when i reach the bottom
then tell me it’s gross

suddenly, i’m in love with my life.

I think it’s been roughly six months since I graced my own blog with my presence. Pretty lame.

I can’t really even remember the last time I even thought about blogging, but something about tonight is giving me the incentive. (Probably the paper due tomorrow that I’m avoiding. )

Anyway. Not a lot has been going on in my world.
BESIDES GETTING ENGAGED. Back in August.
Congrats to myself, if I may. Also, I’ve applied for paramedic school. Another step I never thought I’d actually take. Turns out I’m a little harsh on myself. Huh.

In the world of the wordly (new word?). I’ve been writing poetry here and there. Still a die hard poet at heart. However, the misses has been whipping me to start working again on my novel. Which I have. Which I also deleted. On accident. Which killed me. Which due to much persuasion is being started again. So that’s really at a stand still. Once again.
But I have character designs! I got some art done for me (free) to give me a little inspiration when I need it. And, trust me, I need it.

I’m hoping that there’s someone out there who will find use in my scribbles once they’re consolidated. That use MIGHT very well be toilet paper. But who cares? Maybe I’ll actually do something with it unlike the poetry manuscript I finished last summer.

Also, Also, Also I use that word too much. I’m making soap. Because a man can never have too many hobbies. But alas, I’m a woman. And this is my only current hobby.

You should buy it from me and wash yourself with it.
:]

That’s my new business slogan, I’ve decided.

Hope everyone is doing well. And yes, I realize I’m talking to no one. So I’m sure you’re doing well.

Now I need to get my ICS-100 and ICS-200 certification, and I need to jump on fixing my problems with my ambulance driver’s license. D:

Then she told me that she wouldn’t help me with my FAFSA because I restated. Verbatim. That she refused to cosign a loan for me.

She’s fucked in the head.
Completely fucked in the head.

She told me to ask my grandmother to cosign it, which I can only assume is a joke.
And she told me to ask my girlfriend’s parents too. Is she for real?

THEN she proceeded to tell me that she had absolutely no faith in me to pay any of the sudent loans off, which is why she would never cosign for me.

And she wonders why no one thinks she’s an adequate mother.

D:

I really, really do. lol.

Today is Monday June 15th 2009

I’m going to start recording my physical progress week to week.
Just by taking a body snapshot.

Every monday for the next six months I’m going to do this.
Because as of Monday June 22nd, I am beginning my EMT training as well as a more intense exercise program and diet.

Just in case I forgot.

Here is a comparison from 2006 to 2009.