WHY

WHY is there always new shit I need to get certified in?

Now I need to get my ICS-100 and ICS-200 certification, and I need to jump on fixing my problems with my ambulance driver’s license. D:

Fuck.

My mother refuses to cosign a student loan for me.

Then she told me that she wouldn’t help me with my FAFSA because I restated. Verbatim. That she refused to cosign a loan for me.

She’s fucked in the head.
Completely fucked in the head.

She told me to ask my grandmother to cosign it, which I can only assume is a joke.
And she told me to ask my girlfriend’s parents too. Is she for real?

THEN she proceeded to tell me that she had absolutely no faith in me to pay any of the sudent loans off, which is why she would never cosign for me.

And she wonders why no one thinks she’s an adequate mother.

“As a woman I have no country. As a woman my country is the whole world.”

Man, I want to go on vacation.

D:

Just another comparison

Goddamn.

I like Spanish.

I really, really do. lol.

Promise to myself

Okay, self.

Today is Monday June 15th 2009

I’m going to start recording my physical progress week to week.
Just by taking a body snapshot.

Every monday for the next six months I’m going to do this.
Because as of Monday June 22nd, I am beginning my EMT training as well as a more intense exercise program and diet.

Just in case I forgot.

Here is a comparison from 2006 to 2009.

Excitement!

A week from now I will be in uniform!
LKHDGKJDH!!!!!!!!!

Bones

This poem was shown to me recently, and I absolutely fell in love with it.

Bones

Said Mr. Smith, “I really cannot
Tell you, Dr. Jones—
The most peculiar pain I’m in—
I think it’s in my bones.”

Said Dr. Jones, “Oh, Mr. Smith,
That’s nothing. Without doubt
We have a simple cure for that;
It is to take them out.”

He laid forthwith poor Mr. Smith
Close-clamped upon the table,
And, cold as stone, took out his bones
As fast as he was able.

Smith said, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,”
And wished him a good-day;
And with his parcel ‘neath his arm
He slowly moved away.

By Walter de la Mare

HOLY CHRIST IN HEAVEN.

Death Cab For Cutie.
Is playing in LA with the Los Angeles Philharmonic July 5th.

BUT WAIT.
WHO ELSE IS AT THE CONCERT?

TEGAN AND SARA?
AND?
THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS!!!!!!

IN ONE BUILDING?!?!
TOGETHER?!?!?!?!

-dies-

How You Survived The War

I think it’s about damn time I make a decent update.

First.
That new girl I was talking about is completely out of the picture.
Second.
She’s completely out of the picture. xD

Thank you. For producing so many crazy fucking women. Whoever you are.
Your sense of humor is great.

Anyway.
I’ve been listening to a lot of The Weepies, and a LOT of the Decemberists’ new album “The Hazards of Love”.
Which is amazing.
(By the way.)
I haven’t pinpointed my favorites yet. But I’m sure I’ll get around to that soon.

And as usual, the music I’m listening to is a good reflection on how I’m feeling lately.
And lately, let me tell you.
I’m not sure how I feel most of the time.

I’m in one of those periods where it’s really hard to get me honestly excited about something.
Where it’s even harder to surprise me.

I just feel like curling into a ball most of the day. Not in a depressing way. Just in an “I don’t care enough to do much else.” kind of way?
I don’t feel sad. I dunno. Just apathetic.

At least that’s how I felt until a few days ago. xD

Something really surprising happened recently.
And I don’t think I’m going to go into detail about it.
But it made me happy. It surprised me.
And I like how it’s making me feel.
I’m just going to have to wait and see how it plays out, though.
It’s really nice, but at the same time I’m a little uncertain.
But I’m not overanalyzing it!
xD I’m not. And that’s probably the best accomplishment I’ve made in a long long time.

Aaaaand. That’s all I really have to say?
So this turned out to be a kind of mediocre update.
But. Meh.
It’s how I roll sometimes.

:] Hope everyone is well.