21 Grams.

Looking through some bastard’s car window
To the sound of feet crashing by
There’s a TV on somewhere, and its glow is lighting my face
And there’s someone on the other side

It’s not that much.
Just enough to keep me scared.

______________________________________________

Just as a side-note.
This is to the eight or so people that I know personally who read this.

If any of you ever have trouble sleeping in the future, and want to talk to someone on the phone to pass the time. Call me.
I don’t care how late or early it is. I’ll answer.
And don’t pull that “I’d feel bad.” shit. I’m asking for it.

I can’t seem to stop having nightmares.
You’d probably be doing me a favor.

By the end of summer.

I will be a rock.

I’ve already started pushing my body.
I’m tired of this stupid extra squishy shit.

And I’ll have my writing together and ready to pursue publishing.
Quote me on that.

I’m moving forward.
I need to move forward.
I want to actually. You know. Live the life I want.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m going nowhere.

Let’s fucking do this.
I’m so serious.

And I’m dying my hair again.
That shit looks stupid.

P.S- Who’s coming with me on book tours?
Haha.

I’ve got a secret dream to one day have someone thank me for giving them opportunities they wouldn’t ever have reached or imagined on their own.
____________________________________________

I know there’s a couple things I need to take care of
A few ties that need to be cut, for practicality’s sake
A few things that reveal themselves at the day’s end
Only to be unveiled as mistakes

I’ve got a few tricks here and there
A couple masks that keep me hidden
A couple guns I keep loaded
A couple pills to keep me in check

I know what a parasite looks like
I know what fear sounds like
I know what bleeding feels like

I’ve survived up to this point believing that everything anyone ever told me was bullshit. That people are straight out of the movies. They’re inconsistent, inconvenient.
They lie.
They use.
They’re drunk, and temporary.
I’ve survived believing that you can’t rely on any one person to provide you happiness. I’ve survived believing that what I want always takes priority.
Always.

Stars

Really good band.

I’m so totally in love with one of their songs right now.

I love it so much that I’m linking the music video and posting the lyrics.

__________________________________________________________

Skip around one minute into the video to pass the intro talking.

 

Take me to the Riot

Grey skies and light fading, headlamps making patterns on the wall
Uptown it’s dead now but, out here no one seems to care at all
Slick girls and sick boys and each one lining up to take ya home
They hold tight their coin and pray no one has to see the fall
I’m there, yeah I serve them, the one with the empty looking eyes
Come closer, you’ll see me: the face that is used to telling lies

Saturday nights in neon lights, Sunday in the cell
Pills enough to make me feel ill, cash enough to make me well
Take me, take me to the riot
Take me…

You sprung me, I’m grateful
I love when you tell me not to speak
I owe you but I know you, you’ll have me back but it’s gonna take a week
What now kid?, which way love?
Will we ever make up and be friends?
Good news is my shoes is lined with all my nickels and my tens
Let’s do them! Just feed me… I hate when I have to go to sleep
You despise me and I love you
It’s not much but it’s just enough to keep…

Saturday nights in neon lights, Sunday in the cell
Pills enough to make me feel ill, cash enough to make me well
Take me, take me to the riot
And let me stay…