WHY

WHY is there always new shit I need to get certified in?

Now I need to get my ICS-100 and ICS-200 certification, and I need to jump on fixing my problems with my ambulance driver’s license. D:

Fuck.

My mother refuses to cosign a student loan for me.

Then she told me that she wouldn’t help me with my FAFSA because I restated. Verbatim. That she refused to cosign a loan for me.

She’s fucked in the head.
Completely fucked in the head.

She told me to ask my grandmother to cosign it, which I can only assume is a joke.
And she told me to ask my girlfriend’s parents too. Is she for real?

THEN she proceeded to tell me that she had absolutely no faith in me to pay any of the sudent loans off, which is why she would never cosign for me.

And she wonders why no one thinks she’s an adequate mother.

“As a woman I have no country. As a woman my country is the whole world.”

Man, I want to go on vacation.

D:

Just another comparison

Goddamn.

I like Spanish.

I really, really do. lol.

Promise to myself

Okay, self.

Today is Monday June 15th 2009

I’m going to start recording my physical progress week to week.
Just by taking a body snapshot.

Every monday for the next six months I’m going to do this.
Because as of Monday June 22nd, I am beginning my EMT training as well as a more intense exercise program and diet.

Just in case I forgot.

Here is a comparison from 2006 to 2009.

Excitement!

A week from now I will be in uniform!
LKHDGKJDH!!!!!!!!!

Bones

This poem was shown to me recently, and I absolutely fell in love with it.

Bones

Said Mr. Smith, “I really cannot
Tell you, Dr. Jones—
The most peculiar pain I’m in—
I think it’s in my bones.”

Said Dr. Jones, “Oh, Mr. Smith,
That’s nothing. Without doubt
We have a simple cure for that;
It is to take them out.”

He laid forthwith poor Mr. Smith
Close-clamped upon the table,
And, cold as stone, took out his bones
As fast as he was able.

Smith said, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,”
And wished him a good-day;
And with his parcel ‘neath his arm
He slowly moved away.

By Walter de la Mare

HOLY CHRIST IN HEAVEN.

Death Cab For Cutie.
Is playing in LA with the Los Angeles Philharmonic July 5th.

BUT WAIT.
WHO ELSE IS AT THE CONCERT?

TEGAN AND SARA?
AND?
THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS!!!!!!

IN ONE BUILDING?!?!
TOGETHER?!?!?!?!

-dies-

Nobody wanna see us together, but it don’t matter, no.

Akon- Don’t Matter.
xD

I’m on that crazy roller-coaster called love.

My girlfriend ( I hate that word now.) is so fucking cute.
She made me this playlist of all the songs that reminded her of us and played it for me sometime last week.
And I’ve been periodically “AWW”ing over it since.
I don’t think anyone has ever done something as simple and wonderful for me as that.

God, my life is magically awesome from time to time.

And because I like to post pictures from time to time~
Here is a recent one of the two of us.
Hopeeefully she won’t mind.

Aren’t we cute?
Yes. We are.
She makes me look better, I swear.

In other news, the picture was taken on Easter.
That fact is only important because it was the day I swore to myself that I would never step foot in a Catholic church ever again.
I just cannot even explain the feeling I get after I leave.
Words that come close to describing it are: Depression, guilt, fear, and anxiety.
It’s just not healthy.

And the effect has been so amplified after attending just a couple pagan women’s circles in Oakland.
And discussing all aspects of religion and spirituality in my class.
It’s just too much for me now.

And Meredith (I’ll just use her name in leu of the “g” word.) has been such an excellent help in my development and own understanding of my spiritual side. Never pushing any kind of agenda on me, and never narrow minded about where I was coming from as far as my own personal religious background.

My growth in this area as of late has made me so much more at peace with myself.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not saying religion changed me. Because I still think a lot of that shit is bunk. I’m saying tapping into my spirituality and my own energy has really changed me.

And man, I never thought I’d ever be saying anything like this is my life, but seriously-

Blessed Be, everyone.